I have fallen in love all over again.
He has been such a wonderful friend to me – the best friend anyone could ever hope to have, really. I can talk to Him about absolutely anything and He is just there – loving me no matter what. I go to Him when I have a problem and He helps me work it out – usually by leading me to discover the answer on my own somehow rather than just giving it to me outright. He’s made himself available 24/7…I can call on Him anytime, day or night. He brings out the best in me, believes in me, and encourages me to reach for the stars. Seeing myself through His eyes has made me realize I’m beautiful and special just the way I am. I don’t need to change for anyone, although there are some things I want to change for me. He has also made me aware (mostly by using a good friend of mine) of just how strong I am; strength I possess because it comes from Him. Yes, Jesus is everything to me and will forever be the number one love of my life.
How could I NOT love Him? He was tortured and died a horrific death for me. For me. For my sin. Wrapping my all-too-human brain around that was fairly difficult for a while. HE LOVES ME SO MUCH HE CHOSE TO SUFFER AND DIE FOR ME. No one else has ever loved me like that.
He also saved me from myself. He took a broken, fragile, insecure mess and is remaking me into a healthy, strong, confident woman of God. Am I perfect? Am I finished growing? Absolutely not! But I am light years away from the woman I was in December 2010. Heck, I’m not even the same person I was three months ago.
In addition to the pain from my divorce, I was also carrying a hefty pile of emotional baggage from the rest of my life as well. Over the last three and a half years, He and I have done a significant amount of work to unpack, examine, deal with, and finally throw out a large portion of that baggage once and for all. We’re not done yet (are we ever really done growing? I don’t think so…), but we’ve made an enormous amount of progress. I am very motivated to deal with it once and for all.
One of the most incredible things He has done for me is to replace the lies that have plagued me most of my life with His truth. Truth like: I am deeply loved by the Creator of the Universe. I am worth dying for. I am forgiven. I am the beloved daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords – which, incidentally, makes me a princess. (And not only do I deserve to be treated like a princess, I should also behave like one. True story.)
All that said, even though He has been working overtime to make me realize how much I am worth to Him (think: priceless treasure), I am also humbled by the knowledge that I am a sinner just like everyone else – no worse and no better – saved solely by God’s amazing grace.
My chains are gone – I’ve been set free.
My God, my Savior, has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy reigns.
Unending love – amazing grace.